Based On Actual Events

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT DINING ROOM - LOS ANGELES - PRESENT DAY

AUSTIN IN BOXERS walks up to MEDIA CONSOLE.

MEDIA CONSOLE

What can I do for you?

AUSTIN

Aarrrgh! Talking TV Stand!

MC

Oh, I don't do that anymore.  I was phased out like seven months ago.

AUSTIN

Aarrrgh! Talking Best Buy Furniture Thing!

MC

Well, actually, I prefer to be called a Media Console.  Though, lately, I have been more of an impromptu storage shelf.  I don't know if you remember or not, but you have some stuff inside my little center cabinet.  And, my top swivels which would be handy if you actually put a television on me.  I guess you can use me as a bar, which would be a great idea of you had a party with dwarves or alcoholic children.

AUSTIN runs out of room.

MC

Not cool!  Remember back when I was the centerpiece of your entertainment center?  You go ahead and run.  But, I will always remember the days when you had me stocked up with a DVD player, a Tivo, a VCR, and a Playstation.  You even had me house a pirated cable box that I discreetly hid when the Dish Network guy dropped by.  And, did I complain when the ceiling leaked and caused a minimal amount of water damage to my aforementioned swivel top?

SCUFFED WOODEN CD RACK

Seriously.  Shut up.

END